Physical Affection
by Surreptitious Chi X
Summary: One-shot. Before leaving the village to train Naruto for the Chunin Exam, Jiraiya has to tell the Hokage where he's going. This leads to a conversation Jiraiya doesn't want to have about physical affection. Then it gets weird.


**Physical Affection**

* * *

It was one of life's remarkable coincidences that he'd met Minato's son at the bathhouse. He hadn't planned on seeking Naruto out for at least another two years. After all, the training he wanted to put Naruto through was advanced stuff.

But, now that it had happened, Jiraiya supposed there was no help for it. The kid was a loudmouth, but he still had those sparkly blue eyes and fluffy blonde hair and gosh darn it, Jiraiya saw Minato in those features and couldn't say no. The fact that the kid also changed into a babe and momentarily turned his brain to mush just amused him.

They were all set to go off and train, but there was one last thing Jiraiya had to do before he left.

Jiraiya told Naruto to kill some time and headed for the Hokage Tower. Before he left, he wanted to say hello to an old friend. And sensei. And surrogate father. And all around one of the most important people in Jiraiya's life.

He was a little nervous.

It wasn't like he could really sneak past anybody on the way up to see the Hokage, but he tried. Admirably, he actually managed to stealth it past a few secretaries. The guards at the door to the Hokage's office saw him, though. There wasn't any way for him to avoid that. Not unless he wanted to come in through the window. That was downright undignified. Not to mention too much work.

So he just opened the door and popped his head through. "This room occupied?"

"Jiraiya." A smile spread across Hiruzen's face, creasing every crease and wrinkling every wrinkle. Jiraiya counted a few more than when he'd seen his sensei last, but they just added to the jolly grandpa effect.

"Yup. That's me." Jiraiya stepped inside the door and shut it.

"To what do I owe this pleasure? Come closer. Let me have a look at you."

"You can't see me from there, old man?" Jiraiya retorted. But he crossed the office and came to stand a few feet in front of the oversized desk anyway.

"What brings you back into our humble village?" Hiruzen asked. "It's been twelve years, hasn't it?"

"I just thought I'd let you know I'm going to take Naruto to some of the old training grounds outside the village and train him up for the Chunin Exam," Jiraiya said.

"I thought Ebisu-san was going to train Naruto for the Chunin Exam," Hiruzen said lightly. "Kakashi already came by and gained my approval for that plan. Ebisu-san is an excellent tutor. He is already tutoring my grandson."

"Yeah…about that…" Jiraiya looked away and rubbed the back of his head. "I don't think he's going to be tutoring anybody any time soon."

"Oh?" Hiruzen raised an eyebrow.

_I knew this was a bad idea_. But Jiraiya couldn't just whisk Naruto out of the village without telling Hiruzen, first. Hiruzen was the Hokage. And Naruto, whether anyone was allowed to talk about it or not, was the village's jinchuuriki.

Jiraiya ducked his head, doing a remarkable – and involuntary – impression of a child. "Well, you see, Sensei, it's like this –"

"I've told you that when we're alone, you can call me 'Dad', haven't I?" Hiruzen said.

Jiraiya flushed. He wasn't really Hiruzen's son, but he'd lost his father at such a young age that Sarutobi might as well have been. He'd needed a surrogate, and his sensei had stepped up into that role without hesitation. Hiruzen had raised Jiraiya as his own. That was the reason Hiruzen and Biwako hadn't had a child of their own until later – their mid-thirties. That was late, for a Kage.

If it weren't for the fact that Asuma was Hiruzen's son by blood, he'd still be calling Hiruzen 'Dad' in public. As it was, he'd gotten out of the habit, since it only confused the young people.

Jiraiya shifted, trying not to look as guilty as he was. "Well, Dad…so I was just visiting the hot springs after my long journey back here, and I was just getting settled, when this guy comes in with Naruto and starts berating him. And he was going into these long, boring explanations about Naruto's chakra and how he's not using it right and all this other stuff a kid should never have to listen to, so I just stepped in and rescued him. And somehow, Ebisu hit his head, and I…" He really hoped there had been no witnesses. "I really have no idea what happened. Naruto and I, we took him to the hospital, and I'm sure he's in stable condition and all that, but…I don't think he's going to be up and about for at least a few days."

"So, let me get this straight…" Hiruzen murmured. "You were in the onsen, and you picked a fight with Ebisu-san, in which you carelessly hit him harder than you intended, and my grandson's tutor is in the hospital."

Jiraiya grinned sheepishly. "Yeah." He refrained from a comment about how well Hiruzen knew how to translate him.

Hiruzen chuckled and shook his head. "I suppose Ebisu-san is lucky to be alive."

"That's how I look at it," Jiraiya said hopefully. _Maybe I can get off the hook for this after all. _

"What were you doing in the bathhouse before you were interrupted?" Hiruzen asked.

"I – I told you," Jiraiya said.

"No, I don't believe so," Hiruzen said.

"I was relaxing," Jiraiya said. "Like I said, I had a long trip. And I needed some relaxation, and the bathhouse is really relaxing, and I…I missed them. That." He cursed himself for his slip.

"Them?" Hiruzen raised an eyebrow.

Jiraiya squirmed. "The bathhouses." He knew that response wouldn't cut it.

Hiruzen looked at him knowingly. "Still peeping? It's because you don't have enough physical intimacy."

Jiraiya blushed. "Dad…I'll have you know I'm fine. I have sex all the time." That was a lie, and a pretty big one, considering that he hadn't had sex with another person for three years, but he really didn't want to have this conversation.

"Physical affection," Hiruzen said. "Perhaps then my meaning is clearer to you." He gestured. "Come here and sit with me."

"Dad…"

Hiruzen gestured again.

Jiraiya gave in and came over. He sat down on Hiruzen's desk.

"Not like that," Hiruzen said. He patted his thigh. "Come here."

"I'm not a little kid anymore," Jiraiya protested.

"I am plenty strong and you are young enough," Hiruzen said. "I view you as one of my children."

"This is really stupid," Jiraiya said. He tried to stare down his old sensei. "Really stupid. I don't see what this is going to prove. I'm not a boy. I'm a man. And –"

"You don't get loved enough," Hiruzen said.

Jiraiya hung his head. "Stop saying that." _It just makes it worse_. "Sitting on your lap isn't going to prove anything except that you have a strange sense of humor."

"Aren't you going to try and see if it doesn't make you feel a little bit better?" Hiruzen asked lightly.

Jiraiya sighed. "Oh, fine. But I'm getting right back off, old man. I don't need this much weirdness in my life."

Hiruzen just patted his lap again.

Jiraiya slid off the desk and gingerly seated himself on Hiruzen's lap. "You're too tiny, old man. There's not enough of you to sit on."

"Then try the other way," Hiruzen said. "Try balancing yourself on me like this." He helped Jiraiya shift.

Jiraiya ended up straddling Hiruzen's lap, Hiruzen ending up between his knees.

Hiruzen rubbed his back. "There. Isn't that more comfortable?"

"Uh…" Jiraiya stared at him. Then he sighed. "You're so ridiculous."

Hiruzen smiled.

"This isn't how a kid sits on their dad's lap at all," Jiraiya said.

"You're not a child," Hiruzen pointed out. "Weren't you just saying that?"

"Sensei…"

Hiruzen wrapped his arms around Jiraiya and gave Jiraiya's back long, soothing strokes with his hand. "Enjoy the closeness. Doesn't this feel nice?"

Jiraiya uncertainly tried to apply himself and honestly answer the question. "Uh…well…" He shifted slightly. "It doesn't feel too bad, I guess. I guess it is kind of nice. But if anyone comes in, I don't want them to see me this way. It's also weird, Oyaji." Oyaji was an impolite slang for 'father', one that Jiraiya used from time to time because, well, he wasn't particularly polite.

"No one's going to come in," Hiruzen said. "You are safe here."

Jiraiya relaxed in spite of himself. It was hard not to immediately believe the kind voice of the person who'd been guiding him through life since he was six years old. His sensei's backrubs started melting through his initial resistance. "That feels nice, Dad." He allowed himself to close his eyes. "Don't stop."

Hiruzen started gentling massaging his back with both hands.

Jiraiya exhaled softly and leaned forward, resting against him. His legs spread out to the sides, placing his full weight on Hiruzen's lap. Hiruzen didn't so much as twitch. Jiraiya ended up fully melted against him, resting his head on Hiruzen's shoulder.

"Don't stop, Dad," he murmured. "Don't leave me here." It didn't matter that he wasn't making any sense. Over the years, he'd fought countless insecurities. That Hiruzen wouldn't really adopt him. That Hiruzen would die. That Hiruzen liked Orochimaru and Tsunade better. _Don't leave me,_ was an all-encompassing expression of that anxiety.

"I won't," Hiruzen said quietly. "I won't leave you anywhere, Jiraiya-chan. You'll be living with me. I will be here with you always."

"Then don't. Don't stop."

Hiruzen slowly pulled off Jiraiya's haori. It slid to the floor between the chair and the desk. Neither one of them cared. Hiruzen resumed rubbing Jiraiya's back with both hands, massaging, stroking.

Jiraiya wound his arms around Hiruzen's neck loosely. "Oyaji…" He breathed in and out, suddenly conscious of each breath. "That feels good."

Hiruzen undid the obi from Jiraiya's waist and slipped his hands up underneath Jiraiya's yukata, stroking gently and insistently, working the knots out of the muscles of Jiraiya's back.

With only a mesh shirt between Hiruzen's hands and his bare skin, Jiraiya could feel the heat of Hiruzen's hands so much more. Jiraiya let out a low moan. "Oyaji…Dad…"

"I love you, son."

Tears stung Jiraiya's eyes, coming out of nowhere. "I love you. Dad." It was a plea for something Jiraiya had no name for.

Hiruzen helped him out of the yukata. They dropped it on the floor by the chair, discarding it. Hiruzen slipped his hands underneath Jiraiya's mesh shirt and caressed bare skin.

Jiraiya moaned breathlessly and arched into the touch. He hid his face against Hiruzen's neck. "Yes. Dad." He trembled. "Please."

Hiruzen pulled his shirt up as far as it would go and caressed Jiraiya's bare back with both hands, stroking and soothing.

Jiraiya started crying. "Yes, Dad…I'm here."

"I love you," Hiruzen whispered.

Jiraiya pulled in a deep breath, his lungs hitching. "I love you! Yes. _Dad_."

"I love you." Hiruzen shifted tactics, resting one hand on Jiraiya's waist and stroking Jiraiya's spine with the other.

Jiraiya shivered, a wave of warmth immediately running down his back and flooding his groin. "Oh…Dad…" With each successive stroke of Hiruzen's warm, gentle hand, Jiraiya felt more and more heat between his legs. Self-consciously, he felt himself get hard. "Hiruzen…" He squirmed slightly. "Old man…"

Hiruzen smiled at him. "What is it?"

Jiraiya blushed. "Well, you can feel what it is, Oyaji."

"Oh, that," Hiruzen said casually. "Let it go, son."

"Really?" Jiraiya stared at him with wide eyes.

"Mm-hmm." Hiruzen nodded. "Let it happen. It's just a natural response, son. It's nothing to be ashamed or worried about."

"Oh…kay…" Jiraiya felt incredibly exposed straddling Hirzen's lap, his hard-on pressing against his sensei, but he didn't feel threatened. Just self-conscious.

Hiruzen kneaded his back with both hands, massaging his spine.

Jiraiya abruptly felt too warm and shucked off his shirt, baring himself completely from the waist up. His hard-on ached and throbbed at the way Hiruzen's hands had free range. Hiruzen stroked him all over, feeling his muscular torso, smoothing his hands over Jiraiya's arms, getting Jiraiya acquainted with human touch again.

Jiraiya let out a low moan. "Feels nice."

Hiruzen kissed his cheek. "I'm glad, son."

Jiraiya snuggled against him, shifting his hard-on against Hiruzen accidentally. He felt an answering hardness against his own. Jiraiya swallowed, his nipples suddenly hard. "Uh…"

Hiruzen returned to massaging his spine, working out knots in it and stroking. Jiraiya didn't have the wherewithal to talk. His erection was leaking in his pants from the waves of warm pressure, tingling arousal washing through him.

"Sit up a little," Hiruzen suggested quietly.

Jiraiya shifted, obediently straightening.

Hiruzen continued caressing his spine. At the same time, his sensei leaned forward and closed his mouth around Jiraiya's left nipple.

Jiraiya exhaled and arched his back, surprised. That brought him more caresses to his spine, up and down, insistently stroking. The touches teased his erection, which pulsed and leaked maddeningly. Hiruzen's tongue swirled around his nipple, warming it and stroking it. Flashes of electricity went through Jiraiya. He moaned, squirming, relieving his need for pressure by rubbing himself against Hiruzen's lap.

Hiruzen's answering erection got harder, more pronounced.

"Son, are you enjoying yourself?" Hiruzen asked gently.

Jiraiya squeezed his eyes shut, clenching his teeth subconsciously and trying to steady his breathing. "Yes…Dad…"

Hiruzen dipped his hand underneath the waistband of Jiraiya's pants and underwear at the same time, stroking Jiraiya's tailbone and teasing slightly lower.

Jiraiya's erection gave a throb, and Jiraiya moaned. "Oh." He felt so exposed, so deliciously vulnerable, and he loved the feelings of pleasure coming in from all sides. Hiruzen sucked his nipple and teased his tailbone, stroking his spine with his other hand.

Jiraiya found his hips rocking. "Daddy…Daddy…please…"

"Yes, son?" Hiruzen asked softly.

"Let me sit on it," Jiraiya found himself begging. "Let me sit on it. Please. Please, Daddy."

Hiruzen pulled a drawer of his desk open sharply with a scrape of wood. Jiraiya felt Hiruzen shifting, doing something. Then a slick, slightly cooled hand slipped underneath his underwear, parting him and teasing his entrance with one smooth movement.

Jiraiya cried out and shifted against the fingers.

Hiruzen sucked and licked his nipple. In the moment of distraction, when Jiraiya's attention was forcibly drawn to his front, Hiruzen slipped his finger inside of Jiraiya, penetrating him all the way effortlessly.

Jiraiya let out a whimper, his erection burning and jumping. He could feel it leaking all over himself. "Oh, Daddy, Daddy, please." He shifted, squirming against the feeling of Hiruzen's finger inside of him. It was acutely rubbing some place Jiraiya desperately needed touching. He sobbed, his hips shifting up and down, sitting on Hiruzen's finger repeatedly.

Hiruzen didn't stop him.

Jiraiya gasped with each breath, his face turning red, blushing deeply with the penetration, the crashing arousal, the deep intimacy of this moment. The world narrowed to this odd, pleasure-filled place. "Daddy. Daddy!"

Hiruzen slipped a second finger inside of him, as effortlessly as the first.

Jiraiya shuddered, whimpering with the intensity of the feelings vibrating through him straight through his erection. "Daddy…" He couldn't move.

Hiruzen started pumping his fingers in and out of Jiraiya gently. Once he established a rhythm, he bowed his head and sucked on Jiraiya's nipple again, mouthing and licking.

Jiraiya cried out and shifted, rubbing his hard-on against Hiruzen's. "Daddy. Daddy." His legs were shaking. "Please don't go. Don't stop. Don't stop…"

"Jiraiya…my son…" Hiruzen shifted his attention to Jiraiya's other nipple.

Jiraiya cried out again, his hips bucking. "Oh, Daddy, Daddy, please!"

Hiruzen penetrated him deeply, stroking him inside, hitting upon an aching spot that reacted with pulses of pure arousal. Hiruzen kept stroking that spot, relentlessly soothing.

Jiraiya screamed, his back arching, his head thrown back. Wetness flooded his underwear. He was so wet. He really wanted to come. He panted, unable to speak, his body tingling.

Hiruzen added another finger, three fingers working in and out of him, persistent and gentle, stretching and stroking.

A warm, good feeling uncurled inside of Jiraiya's stomach. He moaned, a peace overtaking him. "Yes…Daddy…please…" His legs trembled. He could feel himself getting closer and closer.

In the end, Hiruzen's other hand stroking his spine is what did it. Jiraiya's body clamped down on Hiruzen's fingers, and he came, achingly beautiful relief shooting through him with each spasm. The fingers inside of him gently stroked him until he was done, his tension completely spent.

He fell against Hiruzen limply, warm and boneless.

"I love you, my son," Hiruzen murmured.

Jiraiya murmured, sighing out a breath, and fell asleep, rocked gently by a wonderful feeling of connectedness.


End file.
